“Crisps.” “Pram.” “Sitting exams.” “Taking the piss (out of something or other).” There are at least several hundred, and probably thousands of words unique to British English. There is also a less easily delineable category of expressions which, though not exclusively British, have their meanings complicated by tone and context when used in the UK. These tend to be deceptively simple: indeed, in the first conversations, you are blissfully oblivious of anything awry…and as you talk to more people, a sense of vague discomfort sets in as you begin to suspect that there is something you are missing…until at last you have that “ah-hah” moment where you realize the misguided naiveté of taking such expressions at face value. Every language and culture has its idiosyncrasies. These examples do not mean that people here aren't kind, friendly and sincere, which they are; communication is just more complicated than I would have expected, which makes it fascinating as well as treacherous to bumble and wonder about what everything really means. Take these two examples of unassuming expressions with hidden barbs (if you are not English, try to give them the appropriate accent when you read them to yourself in your head): 1) “Is that alright?” Literally, you might think you are being asked—do you understand? Are you ok with doing that—it isn’t too much or too little? However, this question resembles “How are you?” in often serving as a filler and convention checkbox to tick. If somebody asks “Is that alright,” especially without raising their pitch in conclusion to indicate a question being asked and actually solicit an answer, you are likely being told that whatever “that” is should—better be—acceptable. Or else. 2) “Well done” Hmm. Maybe you did a good job. Maybe you did a job. Maybe you didn’t even do that. You should be on hyper-alert that you are being condescended, or smugly chided for presuming to think you had done something well, or actually being reminded of how poorly you did something. In short, it is just as likely that you are being called out for some shortcoming as complimented. ** In the first conversations, you are blissfully oblivious of anything awry…and as you talk to more people, a sense of vague discomfort sets in as you begin to suspect that there is something you are missing…until at last you have that “ah-hah” moment where you realize the misguided naiveté of taking such expressions at face value. I associate these two expressions especially with British school, so it is possible that I am bristling at a connotation that they only have when used by authority figures. However, there are other, more general phrases and types of talk that, while they cannot be as cleanly dissected, are also descriptive of a culture where clever, targeted use of words is paramount, for better or for worse. Banter (“Good bant”) Case in point: banter, or friendly talk with no strings attached—particularly, talk intended to impress with cleverness and layers of humor. Here in the UK, you explicitly compliment your own or somebody else’s “good bant” because it’s a type of exchange and remark warranting veneration. To me, this valuing of “good bant” is a doubled-edged sword. On the one hand, it keeps exchanges lively and entertaining, while encouraging self-awareness. However, I wonder if it also creates a prioritizing of presentation over content—does it not make promoting your own cleverness, by showing your ability to see flaws and poke fun, more valued than having an earnest conversation? Banter often involves irony. Therefore, like any irony, it can either create a sense of camaraderie, that you “get each other” even if nobody else does, because you can appreciate the same humor, or it can be toxic—lace social dynamics with daggers, where you will be wounded and made the fool if you take things too seriously. “Have a go at…” This has two definitions. If you have a go at a person, you are lambasting or attacking them—so “have a go” is pretty passive, understated language to convey such a strong action. Indeed, in general, overstatement seems to be a British faux pas—possibly because you undermine yourself in the long term if you are found out for exaggerating, when it is already difficult to be taken seriously due to the erosion of sincerity by sarcasm. “Have a go at” may also be a genuine request that you complete a task to the best of your ability (“Have a go at this game”). This expression builds in the expectation that you are “trying,” not “doing,” that you are attempting and don’t have to succeed. “Do you want to try…” This expression is interchangeable with the previous example’s second definition, but allows consideration of another complexity of both. As with “is that alright,” you may be better off assuming you are not being asked what you actually want to try; you are expected to do. This expression appears to consider the person being addressed by the speaker, and placates you with the illusion that your interests are being prioritized, so you hardly notice that you are being ordered around. “If I’m honest” “If I’m honest” is a preface I hear a lot. Has it evolved to fill a void and emphasize the truth of what’s being said? Or is it necessary as a disclaimer to warn people to prepare themselves for a sincere statement? I think both, in a place where earnestness is the exception instead of the rule, because of the layers from verbal jesting to outright sparring. It is also interesting that Americans would say “in all honesty,” or “to be honest with you,” using the noun or infinitive from of “to be” instead, and shifting the focus off the speaker and onto the honesty itself—in fact, this comparison solidifies the categorization of this as another example (like banter) of an expression whose first priority is conveying a quality of the speaker instead of the information being discussed (appealing to an idea I mentioned in my last post). “To be fair” This expression is certainly used beyond the UK; what is interesting about its usage here is that it seems deployed not to present a balanced view of situation, but to introduce a statement reinforcing your own perspective. Prefacing Statements with “Surely” to Indirectly Ask Questions This common practice allows the speaker to avoid being so confrontational and simultaneously vulnerable as to ask a question outright—they instead phrase an innocuous, irreproachably polite statement that suggests they already know the answer, while creating an opportunity for clarification. “Thanks very much indeed” This is an exception. I do not think this expression usually is sarcastic, or any sort of defense mechanism; it seems more like pushback against both of these types of language. My theory is that this phrase is a symptom of language inflation—that you have to throw in more words in order to communicate the genuineness of your “thank you” because the mere “thanks” or “cheers” are used insincerely too often to count. ** These examples may not at first glance seem to have anything in common. I see them as, at least, making conversations more complex, and at most, making them competitions as each tries to expose and puncture the pride of the other. The weapons in the verbal arsenal are most suited to social maneuvering, self-assertion, and nuanced offense ( “is that alright”; “well done;” “banter;” “have a go at/do you want to try”; “if I’m honest; “to be fair”), and occasionally to defense (“surely”), but may also be exceptions that push back against the coolness of insincerity (“thanks very much indeed”) . They keep you conscious of your social mortality; once you are aware of how many cues there are to take and give, you may be swept up by the game as you seek to trip up others and in so doing reassure yourself, or intimidated into submissive, safe meekness, which may save you from attack, because the meek do not create competition or pose any threat of dropping clever insults. Again, this does not mean that people are hell-bent on putting each other down—the thick silver linings of these different meanings are lots of stimulation and good-natured laughter. Moreover, people abruptly take their guards down and become unabashedly sentimental and tender; this seems to happen especially often in the Christmas season, for some reason. This does not mean that people are hell-bent on putting each other down—the thick silver linings of these different meanings are lots of stimulation and good-natured laughter. My observations are rudimentary and limited; I cannot comment on Canadian or Australian parallels or differences, or even address the variety of accents and expressions within Ireland, Scotland, Wales and different regions of England. What I can say from my experience is that Americans tend to value sincere exchanges of words instead of treating them as suspicious or simplistic, explaining the comparative boring, safe lack of ironic nuance in the American offshoot of British English… perhaps we just need more time to evolve our own wry conversational webs and pitfalls. As for the speaking of English in places where it is not the first language, this kind of difficulty would nip any hope of effective communication at the bud. So whether these expressions are the legacy of the British hierarchical heritage—after all, virtually the only thing the nobles spent time doing was making witty conversation—or something else, they do seem uniquely tied to England. I do not doubt that I remain in the dark about the existences and meanings of many other terms, and could well have botched these. Assuming I haven’t, consider these expressions testimonies that there is always more to the conversation than meets the ear.
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Born in Boston, USA, spent six years in Florence, Italy, and now living in Oxford, UK. Archives
July 2017
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